Tinder with Caution

It’s a crazy dating scene out there… I’ve heard coupled people say that they wish they were single in these times when the internet and smart phones offer so many dating options. The truth of the matter is that too many choices leads to a variety of pretty interesting characters and ::cough:bullish*t:cough:: to sift through. 
One particular entertaining medium for dating (or more accurately a tool of the hookup culture)- Tinder. It syncs your Facebook profile (without posting notifications) to build a simple profile that allows you to see how you’re connected to your prospective matches. It locates people in proximity to you and uses the age parameters you set. Tinder is intended to quickly meet men (or women). You swipe left to eliminate and swipe right if you like the split second impression you get.
I have had too much fun eliminating people! I love #LeftSwipe. I am a bit of an addict. Along the way, I learned to take a screen grab on my phone and Tinder became a MILLION+ times better! Now ladies, please try not to steal my mens or my amazing dating techniques! I give you my finds, behold top quality candidates and future Mr.RightPrinceCharming waiting to knock your socks off:
Pet Owners of Tinder

I’m a sucker for puppies and cute animals. I can’t blame these guys for putting their pets front and center.

Cuteness just sort of melts my cold little heart. Furry cuteness!

Would it be horrible of me to just simply swipe right so that I can steal their puppy? My criminal mind keeps turning- I want to get my hands on that frenchie! PUPPIESSSSSSS! 
I personally think this is a good strategy- who doesn’t love a fur baby? Clearly the puppies are looking for a step mom- I will sacrifice myself. Oh, men of Tinder, so predictable hiding behind cuteness. I see you!
Girl, Age Ain’t Nothing but a Numba’

Because I am picky and a pain in the *ss (and clearly the new ::in:: thing is this cougar thing) I expanded my age limit… I added the young fetal children. I figured maybe they would be more fun to take pics of…
The babies are total liars! Hey I am 4 years younger than my stated age- Oh, you have to click into a profile to even get the whole scoop of his little lies. Sneaky sneaky evil baby! You will be cougar-ing it up by mistake!

OMG! I added 6 years to my real age- How’d that happen?

24 vs. 18 but who’s counting… Your nose will grow young children. Now are we going to have to have the conversation about the birds and the bees?

I was cute once…


And then there are the guys with the cutest of baby pictures. Which lead one to think… what ever happened to them? Love the 80’s glamour. I am the perfect little gentleman. Give us your best blue steel. My buddy and me.

Baby Jesus be a fence with a moat around my soul… brace yourself because it can only get ::better:: from here… with all the material on Tinder there will be a follow up- don’t you worry! 
O:p On my best behavior- watch out!

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