My Birthday and Things that Weren’t

My birthday fell on a Monday this year. My mom didn’t remember to say happy birthday to me… Instead, she called me with the news that I could no longer leave my dog in her house. I did not understand. She told me, “Mary, I had told you that you needed to take Tini home and you didn’t listen to me.” I asked why…

She told me that my brother who works nights and was staying with her had hit my dog. I brushed it off and chalked it up to her being annoying. Clearly puppy abuse is never acceptable but I claimed my responsibility (annoying dog that barks a lot and leaving her at my mom’s house for several days). 
Today, the Saturday after, I figured out what had transpired that day. I figured out why my mom who loves me so much had forgotten to wish me a happy 30th birthday. 
That evening, I came home late to find her in my apartment. She said she could not stay home. She could not be where my brother was. She had run away and stayed in my apartment.  She told me that because he worked nights, his energy weighed heavily on the house – no one could move or make noise because he would become angry. This and my dog barking proved to be his tipping point. On my birthday, he burst. 
I found out that he had kicked my dog several times without holding back, forgetting that my Martini was only a mere 10 pounds. Man of 200 pounds vs. 10 pounds. 
If it had ended there, it would have been horrible enough. He then proceeded to beat my dog with a belt. My mom was there and my dog hid beneath her legs. But alas, my mom being a victim of domestic violence for 20 plus years… we all know how that one goes. She did nothing. No one did anything. 
I just got a call saying, “He hit your dog. He’s not very nice. He gets angry when he’s trying to sleep.”
Life has a funny way of providing information and making the unknown known. Light has a way of revealing things. 
I will not be silent. And I will not have my voice be cast aside. I grew up with a schizophrenic abusive father where silence was his super power. It fed him and kept things perfect for him. No one knew, no one asked and no one told. This keeps abuse going. Keeps horrible things alive. We allow them to live in the dark. This makes it OK. It is not OK. Things are not OK.

I need to have a little chat with my brother. At this point I am livid but I hope it goes something like this:

“She may be annoying and she may bark but she’s all I have ever known. She’s been my friend. She went to college with me. And she’s kept me alive. And to kick her-this being that has been nothing but energy and happiness just breaks me to pieces and makes me see how horrible of an “owner” I have been. I was trusted with something so precious and I just gave it away. 

I feel beyond horrible for you, my brother, because I know that a huge world stands between us. I know that you lashing out only means that you hurt. To not be able to control your anger. To hit a puppy at a mere 10 pounds with all your force. You must really be in pain. My heart just aches for you. Hearing her barking while trying to sleep – yes, annoying. But that fact that someone like you, who meditates, who seems to be spiritual could not get past the barking. This was your challenge. This 10 pound dog came into your life so that you would learn patience and understanding. Instead, you hit. A 40+ year old man looses his temper with a puppy- this is what it looks like? This is not for me to judge. This stays as is because clearly you have along road ahead of you. “

I did not know and I did not understand. Now I know that the most precious things cannot be entrusted onto others.
Funny thing being – Dog doesn’t give a sh*t! She’s still as playful and smiley as ever. And yes, she still wants to go back to my mom’s house. All the trouble she’s caused and she seems just fine…
Counting my blessings – puppies don’t last forever.
Twitter  •  Facebook

(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i[‘GoogleAnalyticsObject’]=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) })(window,document,’script’,’//’,’ga’); ga(‘create’, ‘UA-42436616-1’, ‘’); ga(‘send’, ‘pageview’);

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s