Divine Storm: Trust Your Power

Wayra Fuerza Bruta NYC July 2014
I was watching Super Soul Sunday and I heard Mastin Kipp‘s account of his divine storm- a moment in his life when everything seemed to be going “wrong.” He started his blog The Daily Love and after a year he had 1,000 followers. During a one week period he lost his living situation, had no job, thew out his back, had gout in one foot and had hit rock bottom. His ex-girlfriend’s parents joked that he could always live in their pool house – he took them up on their offer. He lived in a room that was 8 feet by 8 feet…

That got me thinking – maybe this is that silent period for me. The one where I am supposed to turn inwards and work on both myself and my blog. It also got me thinking about the concept of a “Divine Storm.” That perfect combination of events where everything gets blown into upheaval. 
A little over a year ago, I found a job at a moment where I was thinking about getting rid of a roommate after quitting my job of almost 7 years. The difference in salary between my old job and  the new job that found me was the amount my roommate paid in rent [mind f*ck- simmer in that “coincidence”]
By all accounts, even after ridding myself of a roommate I should have had cash but I was spending faster than I could make it. 
The first glaring sign that something was off was when I had $900 stolen out of my checking account from an ATM. When your money’s not right or is messed with – know that this is a sign. At the moment, I could not put my finger on what the issue was because of the daily dose of denial I was on. 

I acquired a coffee dependency. I was medicating my anxiety and stress with chlonopin. Towards the end of my almost one year stint at the new job my nights were spent taking benedryl to get sleep. 
Through it all – the common denominator was unhappiness and denial. Then, my family began to fall apart as well. My mom was in and out of the hospital. My dog was attacked by a family member and I could not pull away from work. 
No matter how positive and how happy I tried to be I was dragging myself through it all and internalizing the dysfunction.
I went to California to unplug from the rush of New York City. It was so replenishing and joyful. Tasting happiness can be dangerous. I knew that my soul was dying by denying that I was not being true to myself. We all know how that one ended – going to California precipitated my decision to quit
Now, here I find myself, for the most part at home. I am at peace in my home with my dog. My apartment may not be 8 by 8 but this is where I am working from. This isn’t a bad place to start contemplating. 
I think the most interesting part of Mastin Kipp’s story was that during his Divine Storm he was asking why-  why was he stuck in this small space. At that point, he heard a reply – “because this is the size of your faith. And that is all you need.” A week later Kim Kardashian tweeted about his blog and it blew up. 
This past couple of years I have been through quite a lot. I am GLAD I have been through everything and can count it as part of my past and it is a great story to be told. So happy to be FUNemployed. I am exactly where I need to be and my courage has brought me far. I am blessed. I am hopeful and looking forward to see what happens once the dust settles…
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