Cellulite on Ice

When I went to the beach, my friends were discussing how now they all try to buy bathing suites that cover up their bodies more. One piece bathing suits are what they look for. They began a deep discussion of all their flaws- including cellulite. At some point, I interjected that I had cellulite. They did not believe me…

I am here to tell the world- yes, I too have cellulite.  I think most people, those deemed “skinny”, “athletic”, or “curvy”- have cellulite. It’s a human condition of the body. I am not ashamed of it. No one is perfect. We live in this delusional world where each individual thinks that they alone are afflicted with flaws. The truth of the matter is that (lean in for this one- I will whisper) we have been conditioned – through mass amounts of photoshopped media that systemically creates a false reality of an unobtainable perfection. The faux reality deletes and denies our true individual realities that we are living and cohesively experiencing as a society. Why, you may ask yourself would our wonderful society do that? Well simple, if you happen to think there’s something “wrong” with you or if you are just not happy due to the constant comparisons- you, my friend, are a prime candidate for consumption. Buy that skin firming cream, pay for that lipo, join the gym, go on that special diet, do that detox cleanse, get that girdle or spanx that will smooth out those imperfections- all the while purchasing new clothes for each body type on the spectrum and damning our current bodies as we struggle to zip up our jeans that we are too in denial to throw away (oh these will fit once the X pounds are gone- we are all guilty). If we would all be happy- we would want for nothing (well close to nothing)…

no thigh gap! 

I think the worst part of all this is that we pass it on – our insecurities. It’s like a plague. We critique the bodies of little girls and speak about their gaining weight and developing bodies as if it is ok. We then sit as friends and comment on how our bodies are going down the toilet. My boobs- they sag and have stretch marks. They are being held up by my bikini top. My butt and thighs have cellulite. I have no thigh gap. My hair- it’s not straight. And clearly, I am not that tall- I am wearing heels. I use mascara to elongate my lashes. I use blush to make my already rosy cheeks orgasmically glow. I play feminine quite well – I am a bunch of lies constructed by me held up by crazy glue and gum with a nice thick coat of shellac. Who gives a sh*t? None of us is “real” or “natural.” There is no such thing. The truth of the matter is that we each have only the one body (evolving, changing, never to be pin pointed…). Where our body currently stands- in whatever state it is- that’s where we should love it. Compassion and kindness should begin with the self.

Fat is political. This is why I do not own a scale. Society and culture have a vested interest in our bodies. I will not play into it. I don’t want to obsess over a frame/appearance/something superficial and negative. 

I, on my part, will keep wearing whatever type of bathing suit I damn well please, one piece suits included. I will not be hiding- even if it makes me uncomfortable. We should show our friends, children and others the plurality of bodies by not hiding our own. Our bodies are not bad and they most definitely are nothing to be ashamed of. Let’s take a radical step and practice self love.

I know I am taking a leap posting bathing suit pics online… f*ck it! Sorry mom!

Throw my cellulite on ice- make mine a double! Cellulitis con hielo! Cellulitis con hielo! 

nothing to see here, Martini! 

My bathing suits I got at a sample sale for Faherty Brand- you can find them here. The cross back straps and cups offer awesome support for maturing saggy boobies such as mine :p. Snap them up before they are gone. I foresee travel and beaches in my near future… (I am wearing XS top and S bottom) Enjoy the rest of summer!!!!!!!

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