Dehumanized Robot & "Slave" Needed at Rat Race Inc to Start ASAP

Are you one to go with the flow without asking questions? Do you major in complacency?
Business looking to profit off your sweat & tears. We feed off your desperation to get out of your current situation.
We want only top candidates to endure the following:
-Never being promoted
-Not being valued for your loyalty or hard work
-Use & Abuse
Your time is now our time- we own you.
You will come straight out of college with your youth in hand. You will exit tired, depleted & looking worse for wear having physically aged 13 years in just 5 short years
There will be group meetings without you where we will discuss what projects you can work on. We will dump work on you. You will have constant team meetings. There will be constant status report meetings. Impromptu meetings is what we excel at. There will be meetings about those meetings.

There will be special requests and projects given to you by anyone in the company at any time in the day (we prefer calling you at 5:50pm- please have that back to us first thing in the morning.) No questions asked- figure it out.
You are not allowed a full lunch break. Run, grab lunch (in under 15 minutes while checking your email) eat at your desk. Oh, grab us lunch while you’re at it.
You say you want a vacation? We don’t do that here. You have to earn your days off. First we put you through the wringer, then you can have a long weekend- there will still be emails to answer. Expect to be greeted with a faux smile and “oh, what did YOU do on your day off?” Prepare to be judged.
Our work environment will remind you of high school- the cr*p one you didn’t go to… There will be bickering and people complaining that “things aren’t fair”… Management will decide that everyone must be treated the same – like crap- to avoid this line of questioning… questions are bad.
Don’t dress fancy. It will be interpreted as you’re going on an interview and your loyalty will be questioned.
Forced work interactions- we will have mixers and out of work activity. Attendance is expected. You will be asked by all if you’re going in the weeks leading up to it. If you’re not going, they will request a reason. Grandma Betty better have died…
If you actually make friends make sure to keep it as a secret love affair- trust no one.
In the bathrooms and the kitchen, in the wee early hours of the morning, you will come across someone else… You will exchange a knowing look through tired weary & defeated eyes but no words will be uttered- we might be listening. We are always listening
You will have to sign a confidentiality agreement to work here- we don’t want our dirty little secret getting out…
Sell a piece of your soul- work for Rat Race Inc.
After many years of taking it- you will decide to leave. We will keep talking sh*t about you. How you just couldn’t hack it. What you didn’t know was that your story is one that has been repeated in many other Rat Race Inc’s many times before.
Compensation: You will be underpaid and undervalued- get used to it
All positions available – sparkly unicorn, receptionist, executive assistants, security, door man, college admissions, paralegal, administrative assistants, facility, investment managers, accounting, legal, compliance, Architect, payroll, research, IT Helpdesk, recruiters, Human Resources, Marketing, Client Relations, Bank Teller, maintenance, Web Designer, Writer, Author, Attorney, Personal Assistant, Nanny, Home Health Aid, Teacher, Project Manager, Hospital, Insurance & many others (please inquire)
A pound of flesh is required when applying for position. To view position on Craigslist please click here. 
Post by Anonymous – reproduced here with consent. 
Want to read more? On getting real with yourself- play a little game called cut the sh*t! 

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