How much is your Soul worth?

My mess in all its glory- G-d I bless this mess! Amen!

I am constantly having a crisis of faith (in case you haven’t noticed by looking around this blog). I ran across this article and it hit a nerve. My sentiment is that we should do what we love. There are plenty of others willing to endure the grind- let them have it! Don’t settle for meaningless four walls and big TV. You must ask ourselves -how much is your soul worth?
“We got sidetracked and diverted into these boxes, these cubicles in offices,” he says. “So instead of investing your time in a passion, you’ve sold your life to work for an uncaring machine that doesn’t understand you. That’s the problem with our society. And what’s the reward? Go home and get a big TV.”

Pyramid of society…
The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.
I was somehow stuck on the what’s the reward piece of his analysis. Very often we sit in cubicles in front of computer screens not only wasting away but losing our souls. Being conscious that the joy that was once inside of us has now become a faint whisper. What is our reward? A paycheck in exchange for our energy, health, the passage of time that we will never get back in a job or career that we are not 100% happy with? This video is a must watch: 

It points out the difference between contribution vs. finding a job to spend our time in. It makes the point that we must invest our time in something that you have a connection to and are passionate about. 
I began to reflect- I had the courage to quit and walk out of these crazy job situations that were not serving me but what have I done with this gift of time. I have forged new contacts and connections but I still somehow feel like I have squandered it. 
I saw it as a great opportunity but at no point did I seize upon it to squeeze every moment of enjoyment out of it. 
I was home- perhaps I could have blogged more? Written a book? Set myself on a disciplined schedule where I exercised, walked my dog and meditated? What contribution have I truly made with my time off? 
I am here to confess that the behind the scenes of Mary Your Soul is a hot mess! You would think that I had all this time to my self but I barely walked my dog a handful of times, I did not maintain consistency. I never exercised more than 10 times in 8 months. I have not really been eating right. I had my apartment cleaned by my MOTHER. I cleaned once and spot picked up/cleaned very rarely. I now have clothes on the ground in my room and any visible surface is full of crap. My dog needs a haircut and bath. 
I have spent my money on events and going out to meet friends at breakfast/lunch/dinner. – well not spent my money but charged that Chase “freedom” card that has not really been giving me freedom. I am outing myself! 
What I do know is that I am not panicking. Which kind of scares me a little bit. I am afraid because the tinge of anxiety that has a negative feedback on my emotions is gone. I no longer feel a tightness in my chest and the sensation of having a heart attack.
I am calm and serene- I have no idea why (Vedic Meditation- could that be your doing?).
There are areas in my life where I still don’t take my own advice. That whole relationship thing alludes me. I Have been sticking to old habits and patterns that do not serve me. I am here to say that I still have not made the leap of faith in all areas. The fact that I am unemployed just goes to show that I am in maintenance and not in the stage of creation. It’s time to jump back in either with my own business or finding a spiritual realm/job thing.
What I am trying to say is that I was compelled to go to that article and testify that…
“I resigned from a 24 Billion dollar Private Equity shop in March 2013 & quit an 8 billion dollar hedge fund in May 2014. I have been retired from finance and enjoying the FUNemployed lifestyle for the past 8 months. I’m making it up as I go along but I feel a real push to motivate & inspire others to quit the rat race. I’m currently a blogger/Disruptor and all around cheerleader for happiness. My story and journey at
To earn the privilege of saying those words- it has been messy and I have been faced with many challenges. When you are cleaning a house it must first get messy and you must take everything out to assess what will be kept and what is just holding you back. This journey is not easy and I am still earning my stripes. I am not afraid to peel back the curtain. 
The road to success is paved with failureS
My happiness cannot be bought. I will not trade in my soul for a paycheck. 
There is no price tag big enough that can reflect how much this time in FUNemployment has given me. There is no quantifiable number dollar. I don’t care if I go into debt for a Billion dollars with debtors knocking down at my door and eviction notices- This has all been worth it. 
I can absorb this investment in myself. I am working on my terms and in divine timing. This is not only a work of self love- it is a work of a radical manifesto. No longer will I be diminished to some stagnant number in a bank account that is reflective of my past suffering.  I have regained my sanity, joy for life and composure. I am no longer afraid.  I can yell from the mountaintops- THE RAT RACE IS NOT WORTH LOSING YOUR SOUL!!!
We have lots of people doubting, self hating, unhappy, and sleeping THROUGH LIFE. It’s about time someone hit the gong and woke everyone up! There are so many things that need our attention. 
Everyone is different and not everyone is able or willing to take such a drastic step. What decisions are you making to maintain things “as is”? Is it worth it for you? (If you’re selling your soul- I know someone who can give you a good price…)
Are you willing to contemplate the fact that you can lose your job but gain an occupation? All you need is a little creativity. What have you got to lose? 

Love & Mischief, 

“Life is a flow of Love; Your Participation is requested” – Yogi Teas

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