I have been having an interesting month or so… The crazy has been coming out in full force. Here I was thinking I was a born again normal human in control of emotions, zen, calm and all that jazz… Once you think you have it all under control- that’s when the Universe turns around and is like, “Here’s a really good one for ya! Take this plot twist!”
I felt sluggish, in a brain fog and off- sure signs that my thyroid was also kicking me in the ass… Life came at me sideways and I crumbled. I was so angry and frustrated at myself that it all fed into making the “sickness” worse.
All this negative self talk, dangerous over-thinking or as I like to call it “Mental Masturbation” led to anxiety and uncontrollable spirals of badness.
Through all this crazy, it dawned on me:
- The body and illness are simple the vehicle. The body is a fine tuned instrument that lets you know when something is off. Usually with hypothyroidism, I just simply think that I am going crazy and you don’t feel like yourself or in control of your body. No matter what is going on with you, it is important for you to…
- SPEAK UP! Once you bring the anxiety, mental condition or illness to the light- it’s almost as if it begins to lift. Speak to friends who will hold the sacred space of standing for your greatness. Those who will listen and offer their strength and support. I especially felt so much better after having a conversation with the person with whom I was working- take it to the source and be honest. Renegotiate. Whatever situation you find yourself in, you have the power to change or in the very least adjust. Figure out what your next right action is that will release the pressure and, in turn, soften the anxiety.
- Double down on self care. A friend reminded me that the moment you feel anxious and overwhelmed that’s the exact moment when you should ramp up on the self care. More sleep, baths, more self-compassion, be extremely gentle with yourself.
- Triple down on your spiritual practice. This is critical. TALK TO YOUR HIGHER POWER. I had a come to Jesus moment with God. I actually threatened God… “God, you want me to be of service, but I can’t function if being out in the world will cause me anxiety/panic attacks/depression. I am listening. I know that great growth is required of me but please send your clear messages through a different medium that is not anxiety. I will dull this precious bodily instrument with Xanax and Prozac- I will not hesitate to use medication! Please, thank you, Amen.” So yea, that conversation happened… I was then guided to take supplements to chill me out/support my thyroid & adrenal glands. I also went back to being regular with my Vedic Meditation practice and went back to kundalini yoga. Moments like these are a reminder that “God is waiting for your call” (Jeff Kober). Pull all the tools out of your toolbox. If it doesn’t seem to be working- it’s simply because you are not working your tools. Keep going until they work.
- Get out of your own head. Reach out. Help others. Get out of your isolation. When I was in New York City I would take the trains all over the city going from one activity to another. In California, I found myself staying home quite a bit. This is dangerous for me. This is when mental masturbation rears it’s ugly head. Thinking becomes bad. Sometimes I have to remind myself to stop thinking, chill and get out.
- The anxiety and feelings of overwhelm are not here to stay. They are in transit out of your life. Sit and enjoy this blue period because life is about to get better. Depression and anxiety always lift. It’s just a sign that I need to practice extra care and pay closer attention to my triggers and what is going on in my life. Even if things do get bad- I know that reaching out to mental health professionals and dipping into medication is OK- there is no shame in my game!
- You need do nothing. For me this experience was a reminder that I need do nothing. I did not have to finish the project. I did not have to show competency. Life and living is what is important. I have already won- I don’t need to impress anyone. I don’t need to add to my resume. I am love and I am loved unconditionally. I can’t fuck it up. Things will unfold as they should. If things get rough- I can always opt out with the full knowledge and conviction that the miracle will be held in trust. I can’t mess up. Even my “mess up” can be used for good. Everything is exactly as it should be.
- Teacher and Student are the same thing. I had to be humbled. I had to remember this lesson so that I can retrace my steps and be able to speak from a place of knowing. Mental health is a serious issue that deserves to be spoken about. It deserves care and to be brought forth from that place of perceived shame that feeds our anxieties. When you are doing the spiritual work you will constantly shift from teacher to student. That is what makes this dance of life ever more powerful. We are called to look at things anew. Speak up and teach even when you have not “mastered” the issue. These are important conversations to have. Embrace the shadow side of yourself- it is where your strength comes from. You are an effective teacher because you are such an amazing student of life. This is no coincidence. You teach what you must learn.
If you are feeling depressed or suicidal please seek the help of a mental health profession or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 or visit their website.
Leave your comments below to let me know what tips and recommendations you have for dealing with anxiety. Any sure fire ways to combat the beast? Let me know! I look forward to hearing from you!