11 Easy Steps to Escape New York City & Move to California

If you are reading this- Maybe you’re just like me- waiting for others to hand you solutions. Well babe, I got some bad news for you- that’s never going to solve any of your problems. Pray and then put one foot in front of the other. As you move- the answers will appear. Those answers have a pesky way of evading you when you are sitting down doing the thinking. 
The universe requires that you take guided action. Sitting down partaking in what I like to call “mental masturbation”, though amusing, will not render results- save for the anxiety, anger and fear that you will be creating. Clicking into “X Easy Steps” articles is not advisable… Stop it right now! You need to get out there and get your hands dirty trying new crazy things that sometimes scares the heck out of you.
What I can do is tell you my strategy for getting from New York City to California. This is not the holy grail or bible but that does not take away from the fact that the following works: 

Throw all your stuff into 11 luggages! Tah dah! There you go- ELEVEN EASY STEPS!  You heard that right:
Image via FareCompare
Sashay over to Virgin America who allows you to check in 10 luggages that weigh 50 pounds for $25 each. In addition, you can bring all of your valuables-think jewelry, important documents and electronics- in a carry on bag (16 lbs) for a grand total of ELEVEN bags. The key is to weigh your luggage. If you are over the limit there are extra fees. I bought a luggage scale and even went as far as to weigh the luggages at an unattended luggage check station at the airport. 
You are also allowed to bring a personal item- such as a book bag or purse or puppy (puppies fly for an additional $100 dollars- though if you blind them with the 10 checked in luggages they might forget to charge you…this happened to me but I asked to be charged for the puppy for extra karma points) 
If you happen to get their Virgin America credit card– they will give you the first checked in bag for FREE. Not only that but as a cardholder you are invited to board the plane right after first class is called. 
Oh, what is that you say… speak up a bit louder so that I may hear you, “WHO THE BLOODY HELL HAS 11 BAGS???!!!!”
Enter Costco stage right. As you may recall Costco has a 100% product satisfaction return policy… I actually called in to ask a customer service representative. They indeed allow any and all returns within the first calendar year. Anything beyond the first year they will accept due to a defect or if it does not work. Costco sells luggage sets that have 1 large bag, 1 medium bag and 1 carry-on size bag. I purchased 3 sets and one large Samsonite stand-alone bag. The beauty of this is that the sets fit beautifully into each other like little nesting dolls. 
The strategy to take with the smaller suitcases is to pack them with the heavier items so that they still hit the 50 pound limit. And if you guessed- all luggages will be going right back to Costco here in California because as a great friend once said, “I keep my GANGSTA in my back pocket!” 
Carried on the wings of angels…
Now you may think this is all nuts. I am one who likes the easy, seamless and elegant things. I especially like not carrying things or being in charge and taking the easy way out (this sounds horrible typed out…) I did some quick google searches to calculate how much it would cost to ship my things and it got scary:

I looked into uHaul’s boxes and they seemed reasonable priced at $1.70 for a large box and assumed 50 pounds just for the sake of comparing it to operation Virgin.
UPS quoted me $ 93.61
United States Postal Service charges $105
and shockingly… I did not look into FedEx but I did a quick search and they are the cheapest for their Ground Service at $51.69 which is still $26.69 more expensive than my Virgin method. 

In my apartment hunt in California, the first apartment that I looked at was of someone who was doing the opposite move as me- she was going from California to New York City. I asked her what movers she had used and she recommended FlatRate Movers. She said that she had moved 20 large boxes and a TV for $1700. 
I think what was key for me was selling things on Craigslist. What’s funny about that is that 98% of things were purchased by friends, family or friends of friends (people who I am Facebook friends and who I have not seen in 10+ years surprised me by connecting me to buyers). 
When I could not move inventory I GAVE IT AWAY!!! You have to say to yourself- does it cost me the aggravation of having to disassemble this, haul it down stairs or the elevator (if it fits) and figure out the appropriate garbage day (collection could be once per week) OR would you rather have someone come get it so that you can forget it.
Finally, one huge word of advice- DO NOT WAIT UNTIL THE LAST SECOND! I did not listen to this advice. I had angels come help me pack. In the end, I also had to have stuff put away in a storage unit.
Manhattan Mini Storage has closet sized storage available for $53/month. 
From the moment I flew out to California to apartment hunt (May 20, 2015) to the moment that I packed up and left (June 29, 2015) I funnily enough had an à la Bible 40 day turnaround on my move… coincidence? I think not!  
I am breaking my vow to save all the juicy details for my (very near) future interview with Oprah… Because I am a selfish sort of woman and want you all to follow in my footsteps! FOLLOW ME TO CALIFORNIA!!! Friends & Family wanted!!! The grass is greener! The grass is greener! The grass is greener wherever I am! 
Now I have planted the idea in your head. I will leave you with one more brain washing tactic, diversion… LOOK A CUTE PUPPY!!!: 
What are your thoughts on my moving strategy? Did you make a huge move and know awesome tips? Leave your comment below- I want to hear from you! 
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Failure to Launch: Holding Our Children Back

I have been asked what does my mom think about my moving to California… 
My mom is in some deep denial. She tells me not to pack that she will help me. Then she cancels on me for two weeks. I try to keep her aware of details such as when I bought my plane ticket and my departure date. Her response is she doesn’t want to know- it’s all unacceptable. 
Now, talk to her about me selling my things on Craigslist and eBay and her eyes light up- oh how much money did you make. How is it going? Oh I am going to stop by to see what I can take, have or buy. She even decided that she was buying half of my stuff- washing machine, portable AC, filing cabinet, dog bed, she wanted the mattress maybe the bed too… only to call me the next day to tell me to list it. For the most part, she has remained overall quiet. That might be due to the fact that I threatened to fine her $1000 per negative comment- now all there is is silence…

There are many mothers similar to my mom. She tells the story of how she never had to dress me- I would pick my own outfits. I would never need to be told to do my homework. I was not the type of child that needed to be constantly mothered though I must admit I was spoiled. If it were up to her I would have never given up drinking milk from a bottle- she refused to stop. I had a babysitter person who would walk me to junior high… the school was a whole three blocks away. She also offered to have that same lady take me to high school and pick me up every day… I threw a huge fit and yelled at her. The compromise was that I would take the train one stop to high school. I would have never gone away to college…
Now let’s examine the lady behind the role of mother. This lady came to the United States from the Dominican Republic having known next to no one and not having any family. She got on a plane for the first time and struck out on her own to meet my father who was already in the states. This was the same lady who in the DR ran her father’s grocery store all on her own and who did not finish 8th grade but had the business acumen to keep people buying and the store profitable. 
The life of an immigrant is not easy by any means but it’s rather funny to me that once this lovely lady occupies the role of Mary’s mother she then has an accumulated world of fear that allows her to tell her daughter- no, don’t fly, don’t explore, don’t move, don’t risk, don’t venture too far… when the very awesome essence of who she is came about as a result of her defying all her present limits.
What I mean to say is- mothers will worry. That is their role and function. It is my job to lovingly ignore her anxieties and fears. It is also vital that I do not absorb these into my being because there is great work to be done if I wish to live up to the awesome mom that I have.
She will thank me later for ignoring her…

P.S. Support my crazy dream of (F) UNemployment: Read more here. Help me relocate to CALIFORNIA!!!! Donate here. 
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The Revolution will be Live Streamed: My Journey

OMG!!!! Rosalie and I did it!!! We filmed the first in the series for The Journey!
I can’t believe I made it through alive! Lots of great, juicy advice in the video so do watch:

Why did I name my site Mary Your Soul? I think it’s a pre-requisite to being human, prior to marrying your soulmate or even finding a job you love. First you must marry your self and realize that you are worthy. The site is about challenging myself, going on adventures, pushing myself for growth- getting over my fears. It’s a challenge to not be complacent and lead with courage & creation to build a life that you are happy with.
If you find yourself in a divine storm with your life unraveling remember these 3 pieces of advice: 
1. You are not alone. There are many others who are going through your same experience. That co-worker at your job who is a total b*tch to you- he is unhappy with his employment and his life. There is fear and pain behind his lashing out. The Universe/God/Higher Power FULLY supports you. You do not walk alone. 
2. You have the power. You have the power to create a life that you love & be in a job that you love. You are worthy of something better. You must claim your power and realize that the only way to access it is throughout the decisions you make in the present moment. You must lead with courage and creation. You must actively create your life or the universe will arrange things by causing a divine storm. 
3. Bless your mess. Things are falling apart for a reason. You’ve got to learn those great lessons. Now when you go to rebuild- make sure to dig deep into the ground. Things will get super messy, dig up the dirt and the old so that your new foundation is on solid ground. Bless your divine storm. 
The one word that I would use to describe my journey is Elevate. I think the idea of  rising above, flying and soaring above is a beautiful visual. Take that leap of faith. On your way down is when your parachute will open. It will never open if you stay on the safety of the ground. 
I hope you enjoyed the video and the above words. May you find courage to blaze your own trail and find your own happiness in 2015!
This talking thing may be addictive! Stay tuned for more from me…
To be continued
Love & Mischief, 
Mary 
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