DevaChan’s Pixie Cut: "Croaking" from Cancer & Honesty

They say that on one’s death bed, the only thing you will regret is having not done something…
Yesterday, I lay in bed waiting to get more sleepy as I read through articles. This was at about 3:20 in the afternoon. And yes, I was laying down for a nap (be jealous). I came across an article about cancer and the reality of dying. It spoke about someone who’s wife had been stricken with cancer. As her hair had began to fall out she asked that it be cut into a mohawk. They sent a photo to their best friend and he replied with a photo of his own. He had also cut his hair in mohawk in support. In that instant I looked at the time – it said 3:33 pm and I knew.
I knew in that moment that I would regret all my not’s. I would regret not moving to California (or at least not giving it an honest try). I would regret not learning to drive. I would regret not trying this whole life coaching business and going out on my own. I would regret not living life to its fullest. I would regret not being courageous. 
We move through life stopping ourselves. Holding back. Playing small. Not being honest. Committing sins of omissions or telling little white lies. I don’t want to lie anymore. I don’t want to hold back for fear of hurting someone or of insighting the rumor mill or having people speak of me. 
Anyway, what I am trying to say is that at 3:33 pm yesterday, I decided to cut my hair. I decided that I would have the courage to expand the definition of beauty. I always looked at those that had the balls to cut off their hair super short with jealousy. 
I heard a friend say- “Oh, I wish I could cut my hair into a pixie cut but no. First, I will catch a husband and then I will cut it off.” In my silence, I am ashamed to admit, I agreed with her and adopted that mentality for myself too. I will wait after x (after getting married and being bought and paid for? Or would I wait until I returned from my trip to California when I apartment hunted?). I will put it in the back burner for now.
A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life…
I had the desire. I can. I did. I wanted to expand my mind beyond…
No need to wait for x. No need to be stricken by anything. No need to stay where it is safe. No need to wait for approval. I am reclaiming my own life. No apologies. No regrets. 
After all, it’s only hair:
There is something very different about me – something deep within. I no longer have to wait for my life to be threatened to be pushed into action. I now see the fleetingness- correction- I now FEEL the fleetingness of every moment as I strive to live in the now. How beautiful.

The funny thing about reading an article is that sometimes we fail to identify with it. We just set it aside. I have learned that if it happens to one it happens to all of us. Over the past year, I have learned to feel great empathy and I am sometimes moved to tears. I don’t have to wait for it to happen to me to learn the great lessons of life.

Thank you FUNemployment for giving me the gift of feeling the depths of the joys of life- for allowing me to FEEL my humanity and love every second of it.

P.S. Support my crazy dream of (F) UNemployment: Read more here. Help me relocate to CALIFORNIA!!!! Donate here. 
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DevaChan: Summer Trim

With the weather heating up, I decided that I needed a trim. I love the way a new look can infuse one with energy, hope and the ability to kick *ss. Wednesday night, as I decided what to do with myself, it dawned on me that I needed to get my hair cut short – not just short but chop’t. I needed a do-over. I needed to feel alive and to shed the excess in my life. Nothing can do this better than a good haircut. I had heard that DevaChan specializes in curly hair cuts. After my experience with Bumble & Bumble and the hair stylist’s hesitation to go in for the kill – I decided to give DevaChan a go. I yelped reviews and found hairdressers with favorable ratings. This led me to Ana. I immediately called and inquired if she had an appointment the following day. The DevaChan operator laughed at me and was then surprised that he had an opening the next day at 11am. Like all things in my life these past two years – I signed up and showed up. I was instructed to show up to my appointment with dry hair – I did as I was told.

Looking more like Jesus Christ more than a Mary…
Sitting in her chair, Ana asked if I how short I wanted to go and if I had any idea of what I wanted my cut to look like. I explained to her that I was going through cataclysmic shifts in my life and that I had cojones like none other. I needed my hair/outside to match the hope/freshness/joy that was within. I showed her a picture of me with short hair that looked more like a triangle(^). I told her I was trying to avoid the cutesy Shirley Temple look and wanted to scream sexy, hot, playful and I wanted to radiate even more. I then showed her my pics for inspiration: 


She was amazed at my bravery (she had just met me- so she’s forgiven). She then called for her assistant, Lulu, to take a picture of the chop: 
Look at the serious concern on
the lady’s face in the background

As she cut my hair, Ana told me about how she had had the courage to cut her hair off many years ago. She had also gone on sabbatical for a year when she had a three month wait list. She called me her hero for having the courage to strive for happiness (for reasons that may or may not be disclosed later…). Ana asked that I stand up and she positioned my head to the left and then right as she cut away curl by curl. I was then handed off to Lulu after Ana finished the cut. Lulu gave me the newbie speech of how sulfates and parabens are bad for curly hair as she washed my hair in what was a cushiony reclined beach chair (mosquito net included). She then added product to my hair and showed me the clip trick. I was then put under a dryer after being handed raspberry ice tea (delicious!) and The Curly Girl Handbook to read. Lulu told me that my curl type is the corkscrew:

I had an awesome time at DevaChan. I was well taken care of and made to feel comfortable. I loved speaking with both Ana and Lulu. They are amazing. They gave me exactly what I wanted and more of what I didn’t know I needed. Now I have an awesome haircut to match the transitions I have been through these past couple of years. I am very happy to have had them go through this wonderful journey with me – yay DevaChan! 

“Wrapping myself up in love, cute things, smiles, laughter, gratefulness… because I have come far- gracefully, with strength and poise. So proud of me. #MarySTRONG #Growth” -via my Facebook

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