One Thousand Dollars: Money Ain’t a Thing

The other day I shredded a check for $1,000.00. It did not even phase me. It wasn’t me trying to make some grand gesture… I just found an old uncashed check and I decided to let it go.
The money was never what I wanted. Money means nothing to me. Money is a means to an end. Money is not an issue for me and will never be- no matter how tight things get I will never struggle with money because I hold it in such a place where I am not desperate for it. 
I told my friends that I shredded a check for $1,000.00 and they nearly had a conniption. There was a collective gasp at the table. I am not attached and not dependent on such things. I can make more money. 
I know what it means to be poor so I do not fear it. If I made it out then I can rise above it now. I came from nothing so returning isn’t that big of a deal for me. I have already amassed such great blessings and wealth that I know the power that lies in my hands. The number in my bank account does not detail how truly blessed I am to have lived this life, my life. I make money – that’s what I do. 
I think having this sort of mind set is critical. I may not be traditionally employed but money still flows in. I, in a satirical move, created a GoFundMe page and someone donated. Checks come in the mail. I actually even had my cable company refund me hundreds of dollars. I am going on my 4th month of not paying a cable or internet bill. 
When you hold money lightly and give it room without being greedy or fearful of being in lack and scarcity the universe begins to respond to this space that you create for money to flow in. If you view money with anxiety and always focus on the lack- you will never see abundance. 
If you find yourself without money- never say that you are “broke.” Reframe that and say that you are “temporarily out of cash.” You are wealthy and abundant. You have your health. This situation of a low bank account number is not reflective of your earning potential and the greatness that is in store for you. It is not who you are and it is not who you will be. It’s just a temporary condition that is in transit out of your life. Abundance is on it’s way to you.
I count my many blessings. I have connection. I have a life filled with friends, family and love.

At the end of the day- money is just a piece of paper. A piece of paper that we gave power to and decided was important. Do you want peace and happiness or do you want worry? Pick a side because it truly is that simple to change your mind. 

I can’t be bought. I am beyond a price tag. 
That’s a pretty awesome place to be: PRICELESS.
Shredding that check was a symbol of me choosing myself. I am going to save me. I don’t want someone who can swoop in and write me a check. 
Hey, having uncashed checks lying around is an amazing place to be…
Feeling blessed and abundant! More is most definitely on it’s way to me- and that is a certainty.

Donate to my GoFundMe campaign. View my auctions on eBay.  

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My Ebay Store: I’m a Hustler Baby!

I looooove shopping! I love it so much that I think it might even be an addiction. Correction: It is an addiction and I am definitely a shopaholic. During my FUNemployment period (thus far I am going on NINE MONTHS!!!) I have stopped shopping almost completely. 
During a dinner with friends, I was told that there was a crazy sale where most items in the store were marked down a whopping 75% off… I clearly went to check it out. This is like being the one and only sheep amongst wolves- totally not a good idea. I hit the mother load! I found a Missoni silk scarf, vacation attire and awesomeness. 

As I was contemplating my scarf purchase- the idea hit me that maybe I should go back and purchase more. I could do something that I enjoyed doing (shopping!!!) but I could do it with the end result of making money. Off I went and purchased a few items that you can see in my ebay store.
I also thought that I could auction some of my own “stuff” to ebay. I find it so difficult to even think of parting with my crap (beautiful valuable items). I have so many work clothes that I could easily sell but I find it outstandingly painful to part with any of it. I guess I could list things on a whim and see if it sells the first time around… Just to see what happens. 
All of these things are just not reflective of who I am and they most certainly no longer contribute to where I would like to be in the future. So I find it funny and oddly bizarre that it’s so difficult to part with things that I am no longer using. 
I can sell all of my rat race clothes… I have no need for them. I will no longer be on the hamster wheel but I find it so. very. hard. to. move. on.
Not for sale yet…
Maybe it’s reflective of that little inner voice that doubts. 
That inner voice that says- “Hey Mary, you should keep the crap because you never know… maybe one day you’ll be forced to go back. You’ll be forced to swallow all your pride and just go back with your head hung in defeat. Back to all those things that I have been fighting against for the past 9 plus months.” How do I quiet that little voice? How do i tell it to f*ck off? I have got this. 
I have got this. I’ve got this. 
I.Have.This.
I.HAVE.GOT.THIS.
THIS IS ALL MINE. 
THIS HAS MARY WRITTEN ALL OVER IT. 
I am sitting here googling how much these dresses cost on ebay, how much they go for and how much I actually paid for them. It is just madness. How did I spend so much money on this crap? It’s just crap and yet I still don’t want to get rid of it. I am feeling a bit of anxiety. Things are coming up because this is exactly where I need to go in my life- I need to get rid of the clutter. I need to liquidate the crazy and put a “For Sale” sign… 
Life is not always pretty. When you are doing the deep work things can get messy. 
Do I have power over this stuff or does it own me? Will I be tied down to this stuff, not able to move about freely in the world and travel because I’d rather have this expensive dress sitting in my closet? 
Where is my allegiance – With traveling or with the stuff? How badly do I want to be free? How badly do I want to travel? How badly…
Wow this brought up some serious shit that I was not expecting. 
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Marketing Yourself- Craigslist Job Market

After almost 7 months, I have been hesitant to jump into the job market. My past job experiences have left me doubting my power to choose a great work environment. This time around, I want ownership of the process and so I really do not want to go the head hunter/recruiter route(though I will reach out to them in the coming days-cast your net FAR and WIDE my friends!). I was perusing CraigsList and decided to post an ad/my resume to see what happens. I put up the following: 

As I looked through the Craigslist resume section, I saw postings from job searchers that reeked of desperation and cheap thrills. I decided to throw my hat in the ring with my awesome post that oozes cool confidence and says- hey I know what the f*ck I am doing 😉

I guess this officially marks me being back on the job market! WHOA that’s a scary thought right there. The Funemployed life is awesome! May the journey bring tons of stories and be paved with fun experiences.

Anywho- to all of you from past jobs/finance realm who read my blog – I do not envy your position ;p but welcome to a front row seat to watch me sparkle… get comfy, I have a feeling this is going to be EPIC!!!

Love & Mischief,
Mary

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Dehumanized Robot & "Slave" Needed at Rat Race Inc to Start ASAP

Are you one to go with the flow without asking questions? Do you major in complacency?
Business looking to profit off your sweat & tears. We feed off your desperation to get out of your current situation.
We want only top candidates to endure the following:
-Never being promoted
-Not being valued for your loyalty or hard work
-Use & Abuse
Your time is now our time- we own you.
You will come straight out of college with your youth in hand. You will exit tired, depleted & looking worse for wear having physically aged 13 years in just 5 short years
There will be group meetings without you where we will discuss what projects you can work on. We will dump work on you. You will have constant team meetings. There will be constant status report meetings. Impromptu meetings is what we excel at. There will be meetings about those meetings.

There will be special requests and projects given to you by anyone in the company at any time in the day (we prefer calling you at 5:50pm- please have that back to us first thing in the morning.) No questions asked- figure it out.
You are not allowed a full lunch break. Run, grab lunch (in under 15 minutes while checking your email) eat at your desk. Oh, grab us lunch while you’re at it.
You say you want a vacation? We don’t do that here. You have to earn your days off. First we put you through the wringer, then you can have a long weekend- there will still be emails to answer. Expect to be greeted with a faux smile and “oh, what did YOU do on your day off?” Prepare to be judged.
Our work environment will remind you of high school- the cr*p one you didn’t go to… There will be bickering and people complaining that “things aren’t fair”… Management will decide that everyone must be treated the same – like crap- to avoid this line of questioning… questions are bad.
Don’t dress fancy. It will be interpreted as you’re going on an interview and your loyalty will be questioned.
Forced work interactions- we will have mixers and out of work activity. Attendance is expected. You will be asked by all if you’re going in the weeks leading up to it. If you’re not going, they will request a reason. Grandma Betty better have died…
If you actually make friends make sure to keep it as a secret love affair- trust no one.
In the bathrooms and the kitchen, in the wee early hours of the morning, you will come across someone else… You will exchange a knowing look through tired weary & defeated eyes but no words will be uttered- we might be listening. We are always listening
You will have to sign a confidentiality agreement to work here- we don’t want our dirty little secret getting out…
Sell a piece of your soul- work for Rat Race Inc.
After many years of taking it- you will decide to leave. We will keep talking sh*t about you. How you just couldn’t hack it. What you didn’t know was that your story is one that has been repeated in many other Rat Race Inc’s many times before.
Compensation: You will be underpaid and undervalued- get used to it
All positions available – sparkly unicorn, receptionist, executive assistants, security, door man, college admissions, paralegal, administrative assistants, facility, investment managers, accounting, legal, compliance, Architect, payroll, research, IT Helpdesk, recruiters, Human Resources, Marketing, Client Relations, Bank Teller, maintenance, Web Designer, Writer, Author, Attorney, Personal Assistant, Nanny, Home Health Aid, Teacher, Project Manager, Hospital, Insurance & many others (please inquire)
A pound of flesh is required when applying for position. To view position on Craigslist please click here. 
Post by Anonymous – reproduced here with consent. 
Want to read more? On getting real with yourself- play a little game called cut the sh*t! 

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THREAT: Deconstructing the Establishment & Rat Race Inc.

I represent a huge threat to companies that are not valuing their employees. Companies who do not have a positive work environment. 
Who have a high turn over rate but look at themselves and wonder why… Who adopt progressive language and thoughts but who truly are just another mill where working their employees like an assembly line robot is the modus operandi.
No matter how much you wish to hold on to what you think is your perceived “good thing”… Let me tell you a little secret- change is hard. Change is not something that you can throw a few mandatory social gatherings and wish away. Money thrown at the problem is not enough. Lip service is not enough. A few after work happy hours is not enough. A present or a gift card is not enough.
Destruction of old beliefs, dismantling of bad habits by the establishment, those in management and changes in rules, expectations and behaviors- after all those things are done- Congrats, you have only began to scratch the surface! 
One of the most important things I learned in undergrad- THE MASTER’S TOOLS WILL NEVER DISMANTLE THE MASTER’S HOUSE. 
Meanwhile, you sit and you wait because you don’t realize that there are a million other options out there. But most importantly, there is an awesome job waiting, if only you would let go of what is not serving you. Fear rules you. Monday through Friday, you subscribe to your fears and anxieties about what the future holds and what life is like at a job you do not love. At no point are you in the present moment- you are numb.
No, you are not alone in hating where you work. You are not going crazy. You may not be able to pin point what is wrong but you know that there is something off… 
There is a better way. I left for happiness. I realized that happiness is within me. Happiness is waking up and being at peace – with or without a job. I will find that place that is a great match to my awesomeness. I am a unicorn… 

I would like to go back in time- many people have asked me over the years- “Oh, Mary, what will you do with a major in Feminist, Gender and Sexuality Studies?” 
Well, darling, I am going to tell Rat Race Inc where they can shove it. I am going to deconstruct and f*ck with the way we think of “work.” Speak truth to power. I am a Blogger. I am a DISRUPTOR. I will keep preaching the Gospel of Mary. 
I am no longer scared to speak. I want people to know that their misery is common- and that is an absolute shame. Don’t do crap work- DO NOT SETTLE. Don’t sell your soul. 
What will you do to get OUT? Step with courage and confidence- the Universe will support you 🙂 Sometimes, you have to step through the pain in order to be well healed.

I Get Out by Lauren Hill

I get out
I get out of all your boxes
I get out
You can’t hold me in these chains
I’ll get out […]

Cuz now I understand, you just wanna use me
You say love, then abuse me
You never thought you’d loose me
But how quickly we forget that nothin’ is for certain […]

You thought I’d stay here hurtin’
Your guilt trip’s just not workin’
Repressin’ me to death ‘cuz now I’m choosin’ life, yo
I take the sacrifice, yo, if everything must go, then go
That’s how I choose to live

That’s how I choose to live
No more compromises, I see past your diguises
Blindin’ through mind control, stealin’ my eternal soul
Appealin’ through material to keep me as your slave

Photos by me from the Killer Heels Exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum. An amazing exhibit open through February 15, 2015. The S&M theme totally aligns when talking about cr*p work environments- don’t you think? O:p

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