My Ebay Store: I’m a Hustler Baby!

I looooove shopping! I love it so much that I think it might even be an addiction. Correction: It is an addiction and I am definitely a shopaholic. During my FUNemployment period (thus far I am going on NINE MONTHS!!!) I have stopped shopping almost completely. 
During a dinner with friends, I was told that there was a crazy sale where most items in the store were marked down a whopping 75% off… I clearly went to check it out. This is like being the one and only sheep amongst wolves- totally not a good idea. I hit the mother load! I found a Missoni silk scarf, vacation attire and awesomeness. 

As I was contemplating my scarf purchase- the idea hit me that maybe I should go back and purchase more. I could do something that I enjoyed doing (shopping!!!) but I could do it with the end result of making money. Off I went and purchased a few items that you can see in my ebay store.
I also thought that I could auction some of my own “stuff” to ebay. I find it so difficult to even think of parting with my crap (beautiful valuable items). I have so many work clothes that I could easily sell but I find it outstandingly painful to part with any of it. I guess I could list things on a whim and see if it sells the first time around… Just to see what happens. 
All of these things are just not reflective of who I am and they most certainly no longer contribute to where I would like to be in the future. So I find it funny and oddly bizarre that it’s so difficult to part with things that I am no longer using. 
I can sell all of my rat race clothes… I have no need for them. I will no longer be on the hamster wheel but I find it so. very. hard. to. move. on.
Not for sale yet…
Maybe it’s reflective of that little inner voice that doubts. 
That inner voice that says- “Hey Mary, you should keep the crap because you never know… maybe one day you’ll be forced to go back. You’ll be forced to swallow all your pride and just go back with your head hung in defeat. Back to all those things that I have been fighting against for the past 9 plus months.” How do I quiet that little voice? How do i tell it to f*ck off? I have got this. 
I have got this. I’ve got this. 
I.Have.This.
I.HAVE.GOT.THIS.
THIS IS ALL MINE. 
THIS HAS MARY WRITTEN ALL OVER IT. 
I am sitting here googling how much these dresses cost on ebay, how much they go for and how much I actually paid for them. It is just madness. How did I spend so much money on this crap? It’s just crap and yet I still don’t want to get rid of it. I am feeling a bit of anxiety. Things are coming up because this is exactly where I need to go in my life- I need to get rid of the clutter. I need to liquidate the crazy and put a “For Sale” sign… 
Life is not always pretty. When you are doing the deep work things can get messy. 
Do I have power over this stuff or does it own me? Will I be tied down to this stuff, not able to move about freely in the world and travel because I’d rather have this expensive dress sitting in my closet? 
Where is my allegiance – With traveling or with the stuff? How badly do I want to be free? How badly do I want to travel? How badly…
Wow this brought up some serious shit that I was not expecting. 
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People are Crazy! How to handle difficult coworkers…

We are all on the crazy scale. Everyone is struggling with insecurities, self hate, lack of (self) love and open wounds that they have yet to heal.
I often get lots of people who speak to me due to work issues and crazy coworkers. 
I usually point out to them that the insanity they see before them is reflecting deep pain within the person that is acting sh*tty. That coworker who is a total b* and he doesn’t know how to act. He constantly yells, might punch cabinets, slam doors, embarrasses others and says inappropriate things- that guy is truly hurting. There is something in him- a pain so great- that is causing him to lash out. That person who lives at work and emails at all hours of the day -even on holidays- who just can’t seem to disconnect from the happenings of work- how sad is their life? Can they truly be plugging into family life if they are constantly on email and on call?
I don’t care how much energy you may have and how much LOVE you have for the job- if all you think about is work… How diversified is your emotional portfolio? How nuanced and intricate is the flavor of your life? 
I don’t care how passionate you are about your job or how much good you may be doing- even the most dedicated people need to unplug and try something different in order to add some variety to their life. 
In dealing with the “difficult” personality I invite you to not think of them as the other/the adversary/the enemy- think of them as your greatest teacher.

Thank them for giving you the opportunity to learn more patience. Their acting out is a call for you to infuse the situation with more love. Bite your tongue and instead tap into your non-reactive state. Remain calm no matter what they throw at you. Be professional and courteous at all times. If they overstep bounds, set boundaries and stick to them. Speaking up for yourself in a respectful manner can be a very powerful act. It can shift the relationship dynamic if done correctly. If they are overbearing and continue to disparage you and act up- report them to Human Resources.

I found this gem of a video from a farm when cleaning out my phone. When piglets fighting looks like a calm affair compared to the office:

Your crazy work situation and the piglets fighting are one and the same! It makes no sense and it feeds no one!

This too shall pass! Greet every situation with a smile! You’re alive and you get to go home away from the craziness. This moment will pass so there’s no use in going down with it- ELEVATE! Don’t be a crazy piglet! 
Baby Jesus did not suffer fools. Do not participate in the crazy- use this mantra “Not my circus! Not my monkeys!” Watch the show from the audience but don’t get dragged into the chaos. This opportunity is here to teach you great lessons- take note!

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How much is your Soul worth?

My mess in all its glory- G-d I bless this mess! Amen!

I am constantly having a crisis of faith (in case you haven’t noticed by looking around this blog). I ran across this article and it hit a nerve. My sentiment is that we should do what we love. There are plenty of others willing to endure the grind- let them have it! Don’t settle for meaningless four walls and big TV. You must ask ourselves -how much is your soul worth?
“We got sidetracked and diverted into these boxes, these cubicles in offices,” he says. “So instead of investing your time in a passion, you’ve sold your life to work for an uncaring machine that doesn’t understand you. That’s the problem with our society. And what’s the reward? Go home and get a big TV.”

Pyramid of society…
The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.
I was somehow stuck on the what’s the reward piece of his analysis. Very often we sit in cubicles in front of computer screens not only wasting away but losing our souls. Being conscious that the joy that was once inside of us has now become a faint whisper. What is our reward? A paycheck in exchange for our energy, health, the passage of time that we will never get back in a job or career that we are not 100% happy with? This video is a must watch: 

It points out the difference between contribution vs. finding a job to spend our time in. It makes the point that we must invest our time in something that you have a connection to and are passionate about. 
I began to reflect- I had the courage to quit and walk out of these crazy job situations that were not serving me but what have I done with this gift of time. I have forged new contacts and connections but I still somehow feel like I have squandered it. 
I saw it as a great opportunity but at no point did I seize upon it to squeeze every moment of enjoyment out of it. 
I was home- perhaps I could have blogged more? Written a book? Set myself on a disciplined schedule where I exercised, walked my dog and meditated? What contribution have I truly made with my time off? 
I am here to confess that the behind the scenes of Mary Your Soul is a hot mess! You would think that I had all this time to my self but I barely walked my dog a handful of times, I did not maintain consistency. I never exercised more than 10 times in 8 months. I have not really been eating right. I had my apartment cleaned by my MOTHER. I cleaned once and spot picked up/cleaned very rarely. I now have clothes on the ground in my room and any visible surface is full of crap. My dog needs a haircut and bath. 
I have spent my money on events and going out to meet friends at breakfast/lunch/dinner. – well not spent my money but charged that Chase “freedom” card that has not really been giving me freedom. I am outing myself! 
What I do know is that I am not panicking. Which kind of scares me a little bit. I am afraid because the tinge of anxiety that has a negative feedback on my emotions is gone. I no longer feel a tightness in my chest and the sensation of having a heart attack.
I am calm and serene- I have no idea why (Vedic Meditation- could that be your doing?).
There are areas in my life where I still don’t take my own advice. That whole relationship thing alludes me. I Have been sticking to old habits and patterns that do not serve me. I am here to say that I still have not made the leap of faith in all areas. The fact that I am unemployed just goes to show that I am in maintenance and not in the stage of creation. It’s time to jump back in either with my own business or finding a spiritual realm/job thing.
What I am trying to say is that I was compelled to go to that article and testify that…
“I resigned from a 24 Billion dollar Private Equity shop in March 2013 & quit an 8 billion dollar hedge fund in May 2014. I have been retired from finance and enjoying the FUNemployed lifestyle for the past 8 months. I’m making it up as I go along but I feel a real push to motivate & inspire others to quit the rat race. I’m currently a blogger/Disruptor and all around cheerleader for happiness. My story and journey at www.MaryYourSoul.com
To earn the privilege of saying those words- it has been messy and I have been faced with many challenges. When you are cleaning a house it must first get messy and you must take everything out to assess what will be kept and what is just holding you back. This journey is not easy and I am still earning my stripes. I am not afraid to peel back the curtain. 
The road to success is paved with failureS
My happiness cannot be bought. I will not trade in my soul for a paycheck. 
There is no price tag big enough that can reflect how much this time in FUNemployment has given me. There is no quantifiable number dollar. I don’t care if I go into debt for a Billion dollars with debtors knocking down at my door and eviction notices- This has all been worth it. 
I can absorb this investment in myself. I am working on my terms and in divine timing. This is not only a work of self love- it is a work of a radical manifesto. No longer will I be diminished to some stagnant number in a bank account that is reflective of my past suffering.  I have regained my sanity, joy for life and composure. I am no longer afraid.  I can yell from the mountaintops- THE RAT RACE IS NOT WORTH LOSING YOUR SOUL!!!
We have lots of people doubting, self hating, unhappy, and sleeping THROUGH LIFE. It’s about time someone hit the gong and woke everyone up! There are so many things that need our attention. 
Everyone is different and not everyone is able or willing to take such a drastic step. What decisions are you making to maintain things “as is”? Is it worth it for you? (If you’re selling your soul- I know someone who can give you a good price…)
Are you willing to contemplate the fact that you can lose your job but gain an occupation? All you need is a little creativity. What have you got to lose? 

Love & Mischief, 

Mary
“Life is a flow of Love; Your Participation is requested” – Yogi Teas

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Dehumanized Robot & "Slave" Needed at Rat Race Inc to Start ASAP

Are you one to go with the flow without asking questions? Do you major in complacency?
Business looking to profit off your sweat & tears. We feed off your desperation to get out of your current situation.
We want only top candidates to endure the following:
-Never being promoted
-Not being valued for your loyalty or hard work
-Use & Abuse
Your time is now our time- we own you.
You will come straight out of college with your youth in hand. You will exit tired, depleted & looking worse for wear having physically aged 13 years in just 5 short years
There will be group meetings without you where we will discuss what projects you can work on. We will dump work on you. You will have constant team meetings. There will be constant status report meetings. Impromptu meetings is what we excel at. There will be meetings about those meetings.

There will be special requests and projects given to you by anyone in the company at any time in the day (we prefer calling you at 5:50pm- please have that back to us first thing in the morning.) No questions asked- figure it out.
You are not allowed a full lunch break. Run, grab lunch (in under 15 minutes while checking your email) eat at your desk. Oh, grab us lunch while you’re at it.
You say you want a vacation? We don’t do that here. You have to earn your days off. First we put you through the wringer, then you can have a long weekend- there will still be emails to answer. Expect to be greeted with a faux smile and “oh, what did YOU do on your day off?” Prepare to be judged.
Our work environment will remind you of high school- the cr*p one you didn’t go to… There will be bickering and people complaining that “things aren’t fair”… Management will decide that everyone must be treated the same – like crap- to avoid this line of questioning… questions are bad.
Don’t dress fancy. It will be interpreted as you’re going on an interview and your loyalty will be questioned.
Forced work interactions- we will have mixers and out of work activity. Attendance is expected. You will be asked by all if you’re going in the weeks leading up to it. If you’re not going, they will request a reason. Grandma Betty better have died…
If you actually make friends make sure to keep it as a secret love affair- trust no one.
In the bathrooms and the kitchen, in the wee early hours of the morning, you will come across someone else… You will exchange a knowing look through tired weary & defeated eyes but no words will be uttered- we might be listening. We are always listening
You will have to sign a confidentiality agreement to work here- we don’t want our dirty little secret getting out…
Sell a piece of your soul- work for Rat Race Inc.
After many years of taking it- you will decide to leave. We will keep talking sh*t about you. How you just couldn’t hack it. What you didn’t know was that your story is one that has been repeated in many other Rat Race Inc’s many times before.
Compensation: You will be underpaid and undervalued- get used to it
All positions available – sparkly unicorn, receptionist, executive assistants, security, door man, college admissions, paralegal, administrative assistants, facility, investment managers, accounting, legal, compliance, Architect, payroll, research, IT Helpdesk, recruiters, Human Resources, Marketing, Client Relations, Bank Teller, maintenance, Web Designer, Writer, Author, Attorney, Personal Assistant, Nanny, Home Health Aid, Teacher, Project Manager, Hospital, Insurance & many others (please inquire)
A pound of flesh is required when applying for position. To view position on Craigslist please click here. 
Post by Anonymous – reproduced here with consent. 
Want to read more? On getting real with yourself- play a little game called cut the sh*t! 

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