DevaChan’s Pixie Cut: "Croaking" from Cancer & Honesty

They say that on one’s death bed, the only thing you will regret is having not done something…
Yesterday, I lay in bed waiting to get more sleepy as I read through articles. This was at about 3:20 in the afternoon. And yes, I was laying down for a nap (be jealous). I came across an article about cancer and the reality of dying. It spoke about someone who’s wife had been stricken with cancer. As her hair had began to fall out she asked that it be cut into a mohawk. They sent a photo to their best friend and he replied with a photo of his own. He had also cut his hair in mohawk in support. In that instant I looked at the time – it said 3:33 pm and I knew.
I knew in that moment that I would regret all my not’s. I would regret not moving to California (or at least not giving it an honest try). I would regret not learning to drive. I would regret not trying this whole life coaching business and going out on my own. I would regret not living life to its fullest. I would regret not being courageous. 
We move through life stopping ourselves. Holding back. Playing small. Not being honest. Committing sins of omissions or telling little white lies. I don’t want to lie anymore. I don’t want to hold back for fear of hurting someone or of insighting the rumor mill or having people speak of me. 
Anyway, what I am trying to say is that at 3:33 pm yesterday, I decided to cut my hair. I decided that I would have the courage to expand the definition of beauty. I always looked at those that had the balls to cut off their hair super short with jealousy. 
I heard a friend say- “Oh, I wish I could cut my hair into a pixie cut but no. First, I will catch a husband and then I will cut it off.” In my silence, I am ashamed to admit, I agreed with her and adopted that mentality for myself too. I will wait after x (after getting married and being bought and paid for? Or would I wait until I returned from my trip to California when I apartment hunted?). I will put it in the back burner for now.
A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life…
I had the desire. I can. I did. I wanted to expand my mind beyond…
No need to wait for x. No need to be stricken by anything. No need to stay where it is safe. No need to wait for approval. I am reclaiming my own life. No apologies. No regrets. 
After all, it’s only hair:
There is something very different about me – something deep within. I no longer have to wait for my life to be threatened to be pushed into action. I now see the fleetingness- correction- I now FEEL the fleetingness of every moment as I strive to live in the now. How beautiful.

The funny thing about reading an article is that sometimes we fail to identify with it. We just set it aside. I have learned that if it happens to one it happens to all of us. Over the past year, I have learned to feel great empathy and I am sometimes moved to tears. I don’t have to wait for it to happen to me to learn the great lessons of life.

Thank you FUNemployment for giving me the gift of feeling the depths of the joys of life- for allowing me to FEEL my humanity and love every second of it.

P.S. Support my crazy dream of (F) UNemployment: Read more here. Help me relocate to CALIFORNIA!!!! Donate here. 
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Mary’s on the Lamb: From New York City to California

Have you ever just sat there and thought- why can’t that be me? Why can’t I have the courage to do x y z? 
Life is funny. Three years ago, I had a boyfriend, a job in Private Equity, and had a roommate living in a two bedroom two bathroom apartment in Manhattan.

Looking back, I was poor as heck. All I had to keep me company were all these outside things. Status, job, cold hard cash and a relationship. I did not know myself and I did not have an understanding of my worth or who I was.

I said F*ck it to all that! I walked away from everything with my middle fingers in the air…
Now, almost 11 months into FUNemployment- I am happily in a deeply committed relationship with myself, I am no longer defined by my job or connections. I stand in all the glory that is being with my self. I am at complete peace – and there is no paycheck or dollar amount that can buy that!
I have been asked- what is the next step? What does one do after FUNemployment? 
I have a huge announcement- I will be moving to Cali-freaking-fornia! Yes, you read that correctly. After 31 years, being born and raised in New York City. Having gone to college just steps away in upstate New York- I, Mary, will be moving to the West Coast. I am defecting to California!!!!
Never mind the fact that I do not currently have a drivers license and I currently do not have a place to live. Please disregard the fact that I do not have any family in Cali… Let’s not even mention that financials are where they should and ought to be after 1 full year of not working the rat race or the h*e stroll…
God is my driving instructor. He is also my realtor, he has been my financial planner and bank. God is my backup and my only plan. He is the CEO of Mary Inc. I do not care to know the how or the details of this coming to pass. Ladies and gentlemen I present to you the ultimate leap of faith. I surrender. I believe.
F*ck it! I am ready. Lead me where you’d have me go.

Why can’t it be you? Why the F*CK can’t it be you? I am not special. I gave up thinking “what if…” I gave up thinking “why can’t I…” soon enough, the goal is to give up thinking too.
The Universe has my back. I am no more special than you. It’s time to spread your wings and fly. You were meant to soar. All you need to do is JUMP. The Universe will meet you where you are if it sees that you mean business.
I am giving you up New York City. I would have never thought that I could have lived without you but here goes nothing…
Now onto the next chapter in this crazy book of life. 
What decisions would you make differently if you knew you could not fail? Once Monday comes around- would you still make it into work? Would you live in a different place? What’s holding you back from living your one wondrous awesome life to its fullest potential? 
P.S. Support my crazy dream of (F) UNemployment: Read more here. Donate here. 
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Happy Birthday Me: Do I Dare Disturb the Universe?

Happy amazing 31st birthday to meeeeeeee!!! Wheweeeeeee! Chea!!!! It’s become a bit of a thing for me to recount some birthday wisdom for the masses… (My Ted Talk 30th bday wisdom. Rules for being 29.)
My life seems beyond surreal. How have I lived this life? The amount of courage, strength and determination is astounding- I can’t believe I have been capable of so much.
How did I quit TWO jobs? How have I been FUNemployed for almost TEN MONTHS? How did I have the balls to tell Rat Race Inc/Private Equity/Hedge Fund/Finance world to shove it? 
How did I find various communities and surround myself with an amazing network of friends that support me? How have I grown so much in such little time?
I don’t need to know the “How”‘s – I just know that my life has been a complete miracle thus far and these past few years have been beyond comprehension. I have seen that there is a force – the same one that organizes the universe/planets/nature- has walked alongside me… has walked alongside all of us.
Living into my 32nd year of life, I have learned: 
I don’t have any f*cks left to give…  The other day, a friend called me courageous- she described me as the lion in the Wizard of Oz. I hope to live even more unapologetically. Not minding what people think has really freed me up to be more of my true self. It has made me less judgmental and forgiving.  
My eighth grade teacher, Mr. A always said- “Don’t sweat the small stuff. And it’s all small stuff.” Tapping into that energy of no thing matters. What matters is the love and connection we have with each other. Circumstances/actions/behaviors- all of those are constantly changing. Nothing is personal- some things just happen. Life is about pushing yourself to the edge of your comfort zone- and then taking that leap of faith over that cliff! Sometimes taking strategic courageous action despite what others may think is what is called for. Live life with no regrets.
If you’re back in your comfort zone: feeling all comfy and ready to relax… It’s time for another crazy action to flip your life into LIVING mode. Rock that boat- it will show you the strength that was already within you. 
You owe no one an explanation for your actions. I have no time in my busy schedule of being awesome to answer questions. I always joke that I will be discussing my plans, job related or otherwise, with the person who’s name is on my rent check and those who pay my bills… No one else is financially invested in me, therefore, I owe no one an explanation. I do ease people’s concerns but worry and doubt is what they are built to do and that’s ok. That does not concern me. One day I will sit down and explain how I did it (Oprah, girl, I am waiting for your call! Get my box of tissues ready and have the makeup person on standby- ugly cry here I come!) 
Give yourself permission to take even bigger risks, act a fool and don’t take yourself seriously. We live in the comedy that is called life. I’d rather live as if I am in on the joke- smiling and laughing all the way. Be your own damn permission slip. Some epic announcements coming your way in the days/months to follow. If you thought I took huge risks before- you will not believe what’s up next for me! Make it a point to blow your own damn mind! Stir up some trouble- turn life up on its head…
The table’s not full- everyone’s invited!!! HAPPY BDAY US!!!!
I want to share my birthday with you. Every day is your Birthday. Every day is a chance for rebirth and starting over. It’s a myth and a lie that your past has to be dragged into your present. Make it a habit to live your life on a moment to moment basis. Every moment being new and full of limitless possibility. You make miracles happen. you are a miracle by the simple fact of your being and existing. You don’t have to do anything. You are perfect in this moment. Every day – 365 [plus the 1/4] is your bday! The spotlight is on you – how will you celebrate the miracle of you? 
It’s been a pleasure of a lifetime to live in this moment. Happy Birthday Friends!!! March 3rd is  even more awesome now that we can all celebrate! 
Sparkle & Shine on bright Stars! More mischief to follow…

“It’s also been a comfort getting to know someone who passionately & unapologetically lives life & encourages (nay, CHALLENGES) others to do the same. I just know next year will be even bigger & brighter for a shining star like you!”

P.S. Support my crazy dream: Read more here. Donate here. 

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People are Crazy! How to handle difficult coworkers…

We are all on the crazy scale. Everyone is struggling with insecurities, self hate, lack of (self) love and open wounds that they have yet to heal.
I often get lots of people who speak to me due to work issues and crazy coworkers. 
I usually point out to them that the insanity they see before them is reflecting deep pain within the person that is acting sh*tty. That coworker who is a total b* and he doesn’t know how to act. He constantly yells, might punch cabinets, slam doors, embarrasses others and says inappropriate things- that guy is truly hurting. There is something in him- a pain so great- that is causing him to lash out. That person who lives at work and emails at all hours of the day -even on holidays- who just can’t seem to disconnect from the happenings of work- how sad is their life? Can they truly be plugging into family life if they are constantly on email and on call?
I don’t care how much energy you may have and how much LOVE you have for the job- if all you think about is work… How diversified is your emotional portfolio? How nuanced and intricate is the flavor of your life? 
I don’t care how passionate you are about your job or how much good you may be doing- even the most dedicated people need to unplug and try something different in order to add some variety to their life. 
In dealing with the “difficult” personality I invite you to not think of them as the other/the adversary/the enemy- think of them as your greatest teacher.

Thank them for giving you the opportunity to learn more patience. Their acting out is a call for you to infuse the situation with more love. Bite your tongue and instead tap into your non-reactive state. Remain calm no matter what they throw at you. Be professional and courteous at all times. If they overstep bounds, set boundaries and stick to them. Speaking up for yourself in a respectful manner can be a very powerful act. It can shift the relationship dynamic if done correctly. If they are overbearing and continue to disparage you and act up- report them to Human Resources.

I found this gem of a video from a farm when cleaning out my phone. When piglets fighting looks like a calm affair compared to the office:

Your crazy work situation and the piglets fighting are one and the same! It makes no sense and it feeds no one!

This too shall pass! Greet every situation with a smile! You’re alive and you get to go home away from the craziness. This moment will pass so there’s no use in going down with it- ELEVATE! Don’t be a crazy piglet! 
Baby Jesus did not suffer fools. Do not participate in the crazy- use this mantra “Not my circus! Not my monkeys!” Watch the show from the audience but don’t get dragged into the chaos. This opportunity is here to teach you great lessons- take note!

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GoFundMe: Make Me Your Sugar Baby!

I learned what the good life is and I never want to go back!!!!
I was thinking about going out on the h*e stroll but something about std’s and touching people or even thinking that I have to talk to strangers makes me break out in hives… yea, the h*e stroll is just a dream for me.
I decided the next best thing is starting a crazy fundraiser. This tiny mad idea that I want to travel and explore places. Fundraisers happen all the time for stupid things, heck money theft and swindling happens all the time too! 
I figured I’d be honest- I don’t want to go back to the rat race- I want to be irresponsible, travel the world, think and type out my witty commentary on how I think you’re a fool for staying in a cube under putrid fluorescent lights! Pay me your hard earned money for me to do what you are too scared to do!

I already pitched this to my friends and they said I was crazy if I thought they would finance my trips and cultural enrichment (let’s show those hussies they were WRONG!!!).

I told my mom she needs to hang back- I’m going to show her how retirement is done! #FUNemployed (Fun fact- Mom & I both retired in the same year- YAY 2014! Thank you so much for your blessings!!!)

Any who, this was written some time ago in a flash of inspiration at 3:03am. Life has a magic way of happening. I thought I’d create the space for the money to flow- in case you find yourself with a few extra coins. I’m too lazy to pimp myself into the sugar baby role. 

GoFundMe!!!!! #FUNemployed!
Every penny makes a difference! Finance the dream! 🙂

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