HYPOTHYROID: A Note On The BEAST

I don’t know if what I am about to write here is kosher or not… but I was feeling really down, very out of whack- just no idea what the f*ck was going on with me. Even though I was experiencing seemingly psychological symptoms, I know what they are attached to.

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8 Sure Fire Steps To Combat The Anxiety Trap

I have been having an interesting month or so… The crazy has been coming out in full force. Here I was thinking I was a born again normal human in control of emotions, zen, calm and all that jazz…  Once you think you have it all under control- that’s when the Universe turns around and is like, “Here’s a really good one for ya! Take this plot twist!”

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UnHealthy Work Environments: Petri Dish for Anxiety & Depression

 

It’s surreal to believe that I lived a life where “happiness” was brought to you by a little blue pill, calm was slipping a white dissoluble sweet sphere under my tongue and energy to drag myself through the day came from chugging venti skim lattes and red bulls. At the end of the day there was never any reprieve, I was still wired and dreading my tomorrows. This left me to drink a night cap along with one quarter pill of benedryl just to fall asleep and be able to do it all over again the following day. That was my life only 16 months ago!

Of course I had anxiety and depression. I only now had the realization hit me like a ton of bricks- I grew up with a paranoid schizophrenic father where walls were punched, doors broken off hinges and cops were called. To say that I had PTSD as a result of that upbringing is  pretty accurate.

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Desiderata: Striving to be Happy

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

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Press PAUSE

I’m on hiatus.
I need some time with my thoughts. Building a cocoon.  Taking it easy.
No worries, when I reemerge I will be double awesome. Triple awesome. F that- I will be EPIC.
For now, dig through the archives. Read the stories. Pay attention. It’s not always about the words. Sometimes the silence and the pauses are deafening. Attention must be paid. Don’t blink. 😉
Mary
PS- if you’re missing your dose of me – follow me on Twitter @LimitlessM